The iCarly Interview
by SometimesILikeToWrite
Summary: I interview Carly, Sam and Freddie. The title is kind of a clue. Just saying. R&R please


The iCarly Interview.

Summary: I interview Carly Shay, Sam Puckett and Freddie Benson...

**1. How old are you?**

C: I'm sixteen.

F: Seventeen years, four months and ten days

S: You're so dumb. Can't you just say you're seventeen and get it over with? I'm 17, BTW.

C: Cut it out, you two. We want this to be nice and peaceful, OK?

**2. Height?**

C: 5 foot, 4 and a half inches. DON'T FORGET THE HALF!

S: Five feet [hangs head, then brightens] Hey, I'm tall enough to punch Freddork where it HURTS. In his case, the stomach, since he is lacking in something the male race normally has.

F: HEY! No fair! I'm five foot three. HEY, WAIT! THAT MEANS CARLY'S TALLER THAN ME! NO FAIR!

C: Hahahaha! A girl is taller than you. What next?

S: A girl will have a bigger...never mind...than him! Hahahaha!

F: Anyway, like I said, I'm 5'3, pushing 5'4.

S: Nobody cares, Benson, don't you get that?

F: Sam, you're pushing it!

S: Sorry, mamma's boy.

F: Sam!

C: Guys! GUYS! CUT . IT . OUT! OK?

S & F: Sorry, Carly.

C: Good.

**3. Have you any bad habits?**

S: I eat ham alot. Is that bad?

F: Mom makes me take flea baths. But it's not a habit.

S: So why do you take one every week, even when Mamma Benson isn't there? Hm?

C: I sometimes bite my nails...

F: Ok, so it's a habit. The stuff smells like strawberries, OK?

S: It smells like vodka. You told me so last week.

F: Sam, I'm gonna...gonnna...gonnna...

S: Gonna what? Stutter at me?

C: GUYS! Let's get on with this, OK? PLEASE!

S & F: Sorry, Carly.

C: Good.

**4. Hair colour?**

S: Long, blonde and curly.

F: That's what makes you so stupid.

S: HYPOCRITE! You don't let me make under-developed-boy jokes, but you can make dumb-blonde jokes? IS THAT IT? WELL, THEN, I SUGGEST YOU SHUT THE HELL UP UNLESS YOU WANT _ANOTHER _WEEK IN HOSPITAL. OK? GOOD.

F: Sorry, Sam.

S: Shut it, Benson.

C: Well, even though no-one cares, mine is shoulder length and brunette.

F: I care, Carly.

S: SHE WILL NEVER LOVE YOU, FREDDORK.

F: Shut it. Mine is brown and short. Nothing more to say.

S: No-one cares, no-one cares, no-one cares, OK, BENSON? SO SHUT UP!

C: GUYS!

S & F: Sorry, Carly.

**5. Who's your mate/partner/spouse?**

S: No-one, currently. Though I do like the look of some of the Varsity football players. Mmm.

C: No-one. I'm single!

F: Me too. Though I do like Carly.

S: Shut it. We know.

F: Just getting it out there...

S: Again...

C: Sam! Freddie! STOP IT!

Both: Sorry, Carly.

**6. Do you want kids?**

C: Yeah, I do. A boy named Spencer and a girl named Isabella Marie.

S: Heck no. Drooling, pooping babies are _so _not my thing.

F: I want a girl named Carly...and a boy named Freddie Jnr.

S: GOD FREAKING HELP THE POOR KID TO BE NAMED AFTER YOU, FREDWIERD!

F: SAM!

C: Guys...

S & F: Sorry...again.

**7. Favourite food?**

S: HAM! Speaking of which...bye!

C: Hmmm...tie between ice cream and pie.

F: Fruit. And pie.

S: I'm baa-ack! Time to attack Freddie with this bat I found!

F: NOOO! OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!

S: Hehe! This is fun!

C: CUT IT OUT, SAM! STOP YELPING, FREDDIE!

Both: Sorry!

**8. Favourite Ice-Cream flavor?**

S: Tie between double chocolate fudge with marshmallows and triple chocolate fudge with chocolate sauce and sprinkles.

F: Lemon sorbet.

S: SORBET IS _NOT _ICE CREAM, FREDWIERD!

F: Fine then. Vanilla.

S: That's barely a flavor. Stupid Benson.

C: I like mint...and chocolate!

**9. Have you ever killed anyone?**

S: No. But I am planning Freddie's murder right now, as we speak. Mwahahahaha!

C: No. And I don't plan to. Unless it's our 'NUMBER ONE FAN'!

F: Ya...she was insane! I might kill Sam...

S: But you don't have the guts...

F: NO, I just don't wanna get arrested by the FEDs!

S: Ya. Sure. _That's _the reason...

C: Guys...

Both: Whoops...sorry!

**10. Do you hate anyone?**

S: Freddie. And Freddie's mom.

F: Sam. And Sam's mom.

C: My grandpa, sometimes...and sometimes Sam and Freddie for FIGHTING CONSTANTLY!

**11. Do you have any secrets?**

S & F: Ummmm...no...we never kissed...ever! EVER, I TELL YOU! EVER!

C: Wierdos...ummm...I lie to Spencer about my grades alot.

Spencer: WHAT? CARLY! HOW COULD YOU!

C: Just kidding...not...!

Spencer: OH, OK THEN! BYE!

**12. Do you love anyone?**

S: Carly.

C: Sam...and Freddie as a friend and techincal manager person...NOTHING MORE!

F: Carly...literally...

S: YEAH, BUT DOES SHE LOVE YOU? NO! NO SHE DOES NOT! GIVE IT OVER, BENSON!

**13. Hot Dogs...**

S: ...sound good. Bye!

C: Yum! Wait for me, Sam!

F: Emmm...no, to fattening.

**14. Have you ever slept in all day?**

S: Ya. And the next day. And the next day after that. In fact, a whole week once. But I got up for food. And toilet.

C: Just until six. At night.

F: Nope. 7 am rise every day for school, 8 on weekends. Thanks to Mom.

Mrs. Benson: FREDDIE! IT'S TIME FOR YOUR NIT SHAMPOO!

S: Nit shampoo? You're never gonna live this down, Benson.

F: MOM! TEN MINUTES, PLEASE!

Mrs. Benson: OK, HONEY! JUST 10, THOUGH!

F: YES, MOM!

S: Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Top 10 viewings on YouTube...hahahaha!

F: What?

S: Oh, nothing.

C: Sam...

S: WHAT? WHAT'D I DO?

**15. Favourtie show?**

S: Girly Cow. And Judge Judy.

F: Discovery Channel.

S: Hahaha! Discovery Channel is for dorks!

C: American Idol. And Judge Judy!

**16. Favourite movie?**

S: Transformers I & II. And 007.

F: Notting Hill. And Changeling.

C: 007...and The Simpsons Movie.

**17. Favourite band?**

S: Kings of Leon. And The Coronas. And Paramore. Hayley Williams is just awesome!

C: OWL CITY! AND PARAMORE!

F: Owl City, I think.

**18. Eye colours?**

S: Bluish Greenish! Like the sea.

F: Brown. Like a dark hardwood floor.

C: Dark brown. Like chocolate.

S: "Dark hardwood floor"? WHO COMPARES THIER EYES TO A DARK HARDWOOD FLOOR?

**19. Skin?**

C: Very pale. That's why I always wear blush.

S: Pale, but in Summer I tan well.

F: Pasty.

S: HAHAHA PASTY BOY!

**20. Fat/Average/Slim?**

C: Slimish, but I have big shoulders.

S: Slim with muscly forearms and thighs.

F: Average, with large hands.

S: Let's put these muscly forearms and thighs to good use...on BENSON!

F: NO! OWOWOWOWOWOW!

S: Yay! Fun time!

**21. Rain or Sunshine?**

C: SUNSHINE! WITH SUNSHINE COMES SUMMER, BEACH, BIKINIS AND BOYS! WHOOOP!

S: Sunshine! Are you crazy? Sunshine = summer = no school! YAY!

F: Rain. Rain means fall means back to school and learning! Yay!

**22. Pool or Beach?**

C: Beach means boys, so beach it is!

S: Beach. More waves for surfing! WHOOP!

F: Pool. I make less of a fool of myself.

S: You're always a fool!

**23. Camping or staying home?**

C: Camping! I love hiking, you see.

S: Staying home. More ham at home.

F: Camping. No nit shampoo.

**24. Dog or Cat?**

C: Dog. Preferably a Golden Retriever.

F: Dog. A big fluffy Pomeranian.

S: Pomeraninans are tiny! I like dogs, especially Alsatians and Dobermanns.

F: AHHH! A Dobermann bit me when I was 8.

S: HAHA! Serves you!

F: [grumbles angrily]

**25. Do you believe in aliens?**

C: No. Well, I'd have to see to believe. I'm undecided.

F: NO! I'm with the side of science against supernatural beings.

S: Yes, I do. I firmly believe Freddork is not of this planet.

F: SAM!

C: GUYS!

Both: Sorry, Carly.

C: Good.

**26. Natural born or clone?**

C: Natural. I hope.

S: Knowing my mother, I'm probably adopted. Fredwierd is a clone of a human, though.

F: NO I'M NOT! I'M NATURAL BORN! WAIT, AM I? MOM?

**27. Car or Ship? **

C: Ship. They're cooler.

F: Car. A Ferrari is a car. And Ferrari's are my life.

S: Car. I live for Lamborghinis. I bet you don't know the first thing about a Ferrari, Fredwierd.

F: Yes I do..they're racing cars, aren't they?

S: I mean about the actual car...don't lie in interviews, Fredwina, it's bad press!

**28. Have you ever destroyed anything out of blind rage?**

S: Yup. More than I care to admit.

C: No. But I've destroyed stuff randomly.

F: NO! MOM WOULD KILL ME!

S: You have an over-protective mother and you are her only friend. If you died/were killed she would have to die too, and even then nobody would care.

F: SAM...

S: What?

C: Guys...

Both: Sorry!

**29. Any unusual things about you?**

S: I'm a teenage mobster.

C: I run my own webshow.

F: Nope.

**30. How much food/drink do you need a day?**

S: Lots. Especially ham.

F: Just as much as the food pyramid tells me I should have.

C: Average amount. With lots of pie.

**31. What is your favourite place?**

C: iCarly studio.

S: Bed.

F: School.

S: Dork.

**32. Any final words?  
**S: I LOVE HAM! I HATE FREDDORK!

C: PIE RULES!

F: I LOVE SCHOOL! I HATE SAM!

S: You don't mean that, do you, Benson?

F: No, ma'am.

-END-

A/N: Hope you liked that! Review and live. Don't and die. Love you all...

*kaitlyn* and my dogs ~patch~ and $cara$ x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x

PS. Please R&R my other stories, "Harry Potter and the Loopy Old Man", "The Wizard Interview" and "Random Harry Potter Parody"! Thanks!

#~#~#~# Kaitlyn #~#~#~#


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